Return of the Tactician's Guild
by Link015
Summary: Ahem, yeah. This is a birthday fic for a friend of mine. A late one. It's about a visit to the tactician's guild. Yeah, got credit and everything. So, read it, and tell me what you think.


Chris: Another fic from me. Yayness. Anyway, this is a birthday present fic-

Mia: A really, really late one.

Chris: Hehehe….Yeah.

Farina: Like 2 months late.

Chris: Shut up. Anyway, yeah, 'tis a birthday fic to my friend Jessica, or Miharu-san. And…I believe that's it.

Disclaimer: No own tactician's guild. Kate owns. Not me.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Run For Your Life, Lucius!**

"So wait, where are you taking us again?" Hector looked at the tactician, who was busy mulling over a map.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm taking you guys to the Tactician's Guild! It's where promising young tacticians like me study for work!"

"And you're taking us….Why?"

"Well, it'll be nice to take a break! Besides, I'm sure the tactician's would love to meet you guys! …Some of you more than others." Chris folded the map. "Okay, I now know where we're supposed to go!"

Hector looked at the tactician again. "Wait. You mean you had no idea where you were leading us?"

"Uh…Yeah. I have a bad sense of direction." Chris grinned sheepishly. "But hey, since I know where to go now, let's go to the tactician's guild!"

With a cheer, he lead Hector's army, or Hector's Hecklers, towards the tactician's guild.

Chris held out a hand to stop them when they reached around fifty feet from the entrance. "Okay guys, I have to warn you that some of the people here are…weird."

"Like you?" Farina poked her head up.

"Ha. Ha. Don't quit your day job." Chris grumbled. "Anyway, I've been sending the other tactician's pictures and movies of our exploits and some of you have gotten quite popular…"

"Oh! You mean like me!" Hector pointed to himself.

"No. Not you. Never you." Chris shook his head.

"Dammit. Stupid tacticians." Hector kicked the ground.

"Well, here we go!" The army marched across the field towards the entrance of the tactician's guild, which looked more like a giant hotel than a place where you would study.

"Hey guys! I brought the army with me!" Chris hollered at the top of his lungs. He winced, and then plugged his ears. "You guys might want to get ready."

"Ready for what?" Lucius looked at the tactician, who was busy whimpering in fear.

"LUCIUS! WE LOVE YOU!" A group of screaming girls rushed out of the entrance. Lucius backed away, turning pale. The rest of the army tried forming a protective wall around the blond monk, but the girls pushed against them, and soon the path to Lucius was open.

"Lucius! Run for your life!" Erk yelled at the monk while trying to subdue a girl with black hair tied in a ponytail. The girl kicked him in the shin and dashed after the monk. "Ow! Dammit, we've got a shin kicker!"

Lucius nodded, and then started fleeing across the plains, the girls chasing after him. The rest of the army breathed a sigh of relief. "I assume this is what you were warning us about?" Hector cocked an eye towards the tactician, who nodded.

"Yeah. A couple….Okay, a ton of girls fell in love with Lucius. Same with Matthew," The thief blanched and looked around frantically for an exit. "Guy," The myrmidon readied his sword, trying not to sweat. "Sain," The cavalier grinned and started combing his hair. "Raven," The swordsman grunted and glared at the tactician. "And Erk."

The mage let out a curse. "Not like Serra, not like Serra, not like Serra."

"And she's kinda like Serra."

Erk broke down and started crying. Chris handed him a tissue and looked at everyone else. They seemed relatively unaffected by the fact that they had no fangirls. Of course, that was probably just because they were relieved that they weren't going to be chased around the world by a mob of fans. "And some of the guys have gotten their sights set on the girls as well."

The women of Hector's Hecklers let out a huge groan. "Let's see…Lyn, Priscilla, Florina….Hell, everyone except Vaida." The wyvern lord gave the tactician a predatory grin.

"Luckily, I don't think the guys will chase you halfway across the planet."

The girls breathed a sigh of relief, and then started laughing at the guys who would have to suffer that. The tactician shuffled his feet. "Uh…And they've gotten some ideas on who should be paired with who."

"Paired?" Eliwood looked quizzically at the tactician, who coughed nervously.

"Um…They decided who should become the boyfriend or girlfriend of another person on the team. Like…Erk and Florina." He winced.

Erk let out a shout. "Hey! Who said that!" Florina whimpered and seemed to shrink. Even though she had improved her relations with all of the guys, she was still afraid of facing a long-term relationship.

"Actually…Erk and Florina was my idea. Don't kill me."

Erk glared at the tactician before tossing a fireball in his hands. "Oh…I wouldn't worry about that. Not at all."

"W-Why did you suggest that?" Florina straightened slightly.

"Well…Hey, it seemed cute, okay? So sue me! Anyway, they've dedicated a whole room in the tactician's guild to posting and writing various pairings. And not all of them are…uh…teammate and teammate. Some of them are tactician and teammate."

"Give us an example." Hector folded his arms.

"Like Tactician x Lyn and Tactician x Matthew. You know, for a guy or a girl tactician. I told you that you two were popular."

Matthew shook his head, his face still pale. "I hate this place. Can we leave?"

Lyn sighed. "And how many people support these pairings? Hell, I don't even know these people!"

"Yeah…Well, having the tactician and Lyn paired up seems to be a very popular idea." Chris pulled at the collar of his robe. "And…not all of the pairings are guy and girl either."

"What? You mean like guy and food?" Hector scratched his head.

Chris sighed. "Noooo…Although in your case, that would be believable." He muttered that last part under his breath so the blue-haired lord wouldn't strangle him. "I mean homosexual pairings. You know, guy and guy or girl and girl."

"What the-? While I respect their opinions, I'd rather not be in their demented pairings!" Hector yelled and slammed his axe on the ground.

Chris shrugged. "Yeah, well, not a lot of people agree. I've seen Lyn and Florina, Hector and Eliwood…And I'd rather not say any others. I'd probably be killed." He turned towards the tactician's guild again. "Anyway, let's go inside! They have the best food there!"

"Food! Well, if the food's good, then _maybe_ I won't kill anyone I see." Hector hefted his axe. "Come on, we might as well get this stupid visit over with." The army started to walk towards the building. "Matthew!"

"I don't want to go inside! Who knows what they might do?" After seeing what the fangirls could do, Matthew didn't want to endanger himself. Hector walked back and dragged the thief towards the building, with the latter screaming in terror.

Once inside, the army split up and went their separate ways inside the guild. Chris decided to give Canas, Farina, Florina, Ninian, and Eliwood a tour of the building first. Matthew was busy trying to avoid any females that were inside the guild while Guy had locked himself inside a closet, hoping to hide from any people that might try to glomp him. Erk was keeping his eyes busy for the girl who acted like Serra and Sain was hitting on any of the female tacticians. And he was succeeding too. A couple of girls were already following him, hanging on to his every word.

As for Raven, well, he didn't care about any fangirls, so he was busy sitting on a couch nearby, waiting for this visit to be finished. Hector, Dorcas, Bartre, Oswin, Wallace, Geitz, Hawkeye, and Dart (You know, all of the big axe-using peoples) were at the restaurant extension of the guild, and were using their popularity (The hostess was a big fan of Hector) to get free meals.

Nils, Nino, Lyn, Serra, Rebecca, Wil, Kent, and Fiora were busy exploring the guild by themselves. Nils opened a door nearby, and gaped when he saw what he had found. "It's the Holy Grail…"

"Holy Grail? What's that, Nils?" Nino walked up to the bard and peered inside the room. "Wow…That's amazing…Let's get the others!" The mage grabbed Nils's hand and they raced off to find the other members of their group. The two of them found the others huddled over television screen.

"Hey! That's our battle against Lloyd!" Nino pointed at the screen. The others turned at the sound of her voice.

"Oh, hey Nino. Find anything interesting?" Lyn looked at the young girl, who smiled happily.

"Yep! It's the Holy..Uh…Gail!"

"Gail?"

"I think she means Holy Grail." Rebecca explained.

"Yep! Come on, let me show you!" Nino and Nils led the rest of their group to the room that they had found. "See? Isn't that cool?"

"Wow…Chris said that it was in this building, but I thought he was just lying."

"I can't believe it…A whole game arcade…And it's all ours! Come on, let's play!"

"Yahooo!" Nils leaped in the air and they all rushed into the arcade. Kent stuck a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob of the room before closing the door.

* * *

"I wonder how they were able to fit an entire staking rink in here." Pent looked at the rink, blinking his eyes. "I've never been on one, but I've read about it and seen pictures in books. It is said that you could only find these in Ilia."

Louise, his wife, placed her head on the sage's shoulder. "Yeah…Why don't we give it a try, okay?"

"Of course, my dear. What about you, Erk?" Pent looked back at the mage.

"Well…I don't know. It looks like it would hurt a lot if you fell down." He looked skeptically at the ice. "And besides, what guarantee is there that we won't get frostbite?"

"Haha! It's not that cold!" A tall boy with short, black hair laughed. "Don't worry about catching any afflictions here. We make sure our skating rink is one-hundred percent safe! Come on, give it a try! It's only fifty gold for a person, and a hundred seventy-five gold if you are going with four people."

Pent grinned. "Okay, that's perfect! Let's see…Me, Louise…Priscilla, you want to try too, right?"

The troubadour grinned happily, her green eyes sparkling. "Of course! This is a once in a lifetime chance, right?"

"Right. Now…Erk, do you want to go?"

"I don't know…" Erk looked at the ground, and then back at the ice.

Priscilla giggled and grabbed Erk's arm. "Come on Erk, it'll be fun!"

Erk blushed and smiled faintly. "Oh, all right. But just because you asked me."

"Yay!" Priscilla hugged Erk. Pent smiled, and paid the boy the fee.

"Ah…Perfect. Let me just get you your skates, and you're free to try out the rink!" The boy pocketed the gold and left to pick up the skates. He returned quickly, holding four pairs of skates. "Don't ask how I know what size you'll need. I just know. Anyway….The name's Tayring, and if you need any help, don't be afraid to ask!"

"Thanks for your help!" The four of them sat on a bench to put on their skates, wobbling slightly as they stood up.

"This is a new experience." Pent gripped a nearby handrail. "Hmmm, so are you guys ready to go?" He looked at the others, who nodded. "Perfect! Now let's see what we can do in the rink."

* * *

Karel, Marcus, Lowen, Vaida, and Renault walked in what appeared to be a fully equipped training hall. Various weapons and armor lined the wall, and sitting at the far wall were two people, a boy and a girl. The boy was tall, thin, and had short, scruffy black hair. The girl was shorter, and black hair framed her face.

"Excuse me, but what is this place?" Marcus and the others walked up to the far wall. The boy looked up from the sword he was polishing.

"Oh. Well, this is our training hall. You know, for tactician's who want to do more than just sit on their butts during a battle. So, what do you want?"

Karel gave a laugh. "Hmm, doesn't seem to me like you guys are worth even killing! But I would like to see your prowess first. We'd all like to train here for a while."

"Ah, very well." The boy stood up. "Well, choose your weapon. They're all blunt, so you don't have to worry about killing anyone. I'll take the confident one over here, and the rest of you can pair up and see who wins." He placed his sword on the ground and picked out a hardwood staff. "Oh, and just before we fight, my name's Carten, and this is Lillia." The girl gave a timid smile and raised her hand in greeting.

"Very well." Karel picked up a wooden sword and swung it around a little. "My name is Karel, and I'm going to be your executioner!" Karel rushed at Carten, swinging his sword at the boy's neck.

* * *

Chris: Yes, the staff that you see are based off of real people. If you wanna be part of the staff, e-mail me. It's in the profile. Just click on the email link. Oh, and you'll have to give me at least a basic description and personality first. Anyway, that's it, and hope you enjoyed it so far. Review please! 


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